Your Best friend is of Opposite Sex- T
he Dating Angle (what would your partner say ? )
Various discussions have sprouted from this controversy over the years. The ideology of having a bestie as an opposite sex. A lot of people have aired their opinions as pertaining the matter. While most people see it as 'a no big deal',others see it as being totally awkward.
Now let's see this from the dating angle I.e what does your partner think about having a best friend has an opposite sex?
I read in a photo caption lately, it says " My boyfriend is not permitted to have a bestie as a girl, what is she besteing that I can't bestie..." Funny as this may be, most people in a relationship totally frown at their partners having a best friend as an opposite sex ( of a different gender: male -female ,vise versa) , especially with one they hardly know. As funny as this may seem, I feel it's totally logical as one can hardly tell the true intentions of such a person. To play safe and to protect their partner from being snatched, they simply frown at it.
Having said that, let's analyze this phenomenon from the onset. Best friends are the closest people to you who might/might not be biologically related to you. They are those set of people you can tell anything or close to everything. The true ones will stay by you anytime, come rain, come shine. Now let's imagine that the person who bears all these admirable qualities is of the opposite sex. Now you would wonder, whether a person can be all these to you and not have feelings .They stay by you and practically carry out all the functions of a partner(apart from the major ones, wink) .
They give you a shoulder to cry on; they take pleasure in frustrating your life yet they make life fun living for you. They call you, text you and make themselves available when needed. Imagine all these qualities coming from an opposite sex. Let's face it, when it gets to some point, feelings are so likely to pop up. It however becomes difficult to say on the long run knowing fully well the platform you both started from which was just to friends.
I just painted an angle of the entire issue which might not really hold water. The point basically is, the likelihood of the love flames oozing from just a side is high and eminent. It's only mutual in few cases.
In order not digress further, Yorubas will say, I interpret , "where we are going isn't far, it's the places we're branching that is much" LOL.
Your partner knowing the possibility of this(as explained above) happening might feel so insecure with you having a bestie as an opposite sex. It becomes difficult for you as well knowing this is someone who has always been there for you.
This however brings the both of you to a constant conflict which might hardly get a resolution anytime soon.
What do you do at this point?
In as much as its extremely difficult for you to choose between the love of your life and someone who means a lot to you, you have to take bold steps..
Try talking to your partner first and foremost, try explaining things to him/her as much as you deem fit. (apply sense)
Also talk to your bestie, if their intentions are genuine(just want to be friends with you) , they would understand .
Try to time yourself with the both of them and the times you can't, when you find yourself in their midst , behave accordingly, treat bae/boo for what they're and let bestie (opposite sex) notice it. Also treat bestie as bestie and let bae/boo know it to an extent.
I can't be spoon feeding you, use your discretion (LMAO)
Till next time, I remain Tobidynamic.
Feel free to drop comments.
Various discussions have sprouted from this controversy over the years. The ideology of having a bestie as an opposite sex. A lot of people have aired their opinions as pertaining the matter. While most people see it as 'a no big deal',others see it as being totally awkward.
Now let's see this from the dating angle I.e what does your partner think about having a best friend has an opposite sex?
I read in a photo caption lately, it says " My boyfriend is not permitted to have a bestie as a girl, what is she besteing that I can't bestie..." Funny as this may be, most people in a relationship totally frown at their partners having a best friend as an opposite sex ( of a different gender: male -female ,vise versa) , especially with one they hardly know. As funny as this may seem, I feel it's totally logical as one can hardly tell the true intentions of such a person. To play safe and to protect their partner from being snatched, they simply frown at it.
Having said that, let's analyze this phenomenon from the onset. Best friends are the closest people to you who might/might not be biologically related to you. They are those set of people you can tell anything or close to everything. The true ones will stay by you anytime, come rain, come shine. Now let's imagine that the person who bears all these admirable qualities is of the opposite sex. Now you would wonder, whether a person can be all these to you and not have feelings .They stay by you and practically carry out all the functions of a partner(apart from the major ones, wink) .
They give you a shoulder to cry on; they take pleasure in frustrating your life yet they make life fun living for you. They call you, text you and make themselves available when needed. Imagine all these qualities coming from an opposite sex. Let's face it, when it gets to some point, feelings are so likely to pop up. It however becomes difficult to say on the long run knowing fully well the platform you both started from which was just to friends.
I just painted an angle of the entire issue which might not really hold water. The point basically is, the likelihood of the love flames oozing from just a side is high and eminent. It's only mutual in few cases.
In order not digress further, Yorubas will say, I interpret , "where we are going isn't far, it's the places we're branching that is much" LOL.
Your partner knowing the possibility of this(as explained above) happening might feel so insecure with you having a bestie as an opposite sex. It becomes difficult for you as well knowing this is someone who has always been there for you.
This however brings the both of you to a constant conflict which might hardly get a resolution anytime soon.
What do you do at this point?
In as much as its extremely difficult for you to choose between the love of your life and someone who means a lot to you, you have to take bold steps..
Try talking to your partner first and foremost, try explaining things to him/her as much as you deem fit. (apply sense)
Also talk to your bestie, if their intentions are genuine(just want to be friends with you) , they would understand .
Try to time yourself with the both of them and the times you can't, when you find yourself in their midst , behave accordingly, treat bae/boo for what they're and let bestie (opposite sex) notice it. Also treat bestie as bestie and let bae/boo know it to an extent.
I can't be spoon feeding you, use your discretion (LMAO)
Till next time, I remain Tobidynamic.
Feel free to drop comments.
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